This journal is dedicated to my two sons, Mark and Brian. They have fulfilled Evelyn’s and my dream. They are good men.
“The world is not respectable; it is mortal, tormented, confused, deluded forever, but it is shot through with love, with glints of courage and laughter, and in those, the spirit blooms timidly, and struggles to the light amid thorns.”
- George Santayana
In the following pages I recall the major events of my life and attempt to understand how these events, for better or worse, contributed to what I am as a person. This is really an effort at introspection for the purpose of rebuilding my life. Since Evelyn died I have been trying to re-build my life and I think part of that rebuilding process is reclaiming my past. In Barack Obama’s book Dreams from My Father, Obama describes his father’s need to reclaim his life by going back to his past; going back to his past included re-visiting people and places from his past. This journal represents my going back into my past.
My life thus far, with the exception of one event (Evelyn’s death), has been very rewarding. I have done pretty much what I wanted to do, achieved my goals, and I am at peace with myself.
My childhood was a happy one, my family a loving one, I had a very special relationship with the woman I loved–it lasted for thirty-five years. I have two sons, of whom I am very proud and I am working at a job that is very challenging and satisfying. When I think about it I have been very fortunate indeed.